I’ll be the first one to preach, “This too shall pass.”
When it comes to my own heart, though, I tend to let the devil trespass.
Need to take one from Lambert and “throw my sin, and the men, all in.
Add some bleach and put that sucker on spin.”
Easier to say than do, easier to preach the sermon than be the one in the pew.
If my life was a movie, this would be the motivational montage.
Inspirational song in the background, won’t be too long til I’m on top.
Make sure you stand when it’s time to applaud.
Every little stain will come out in the wash.
Everything is replaceable, no matter the cost.
Bow my head when I thank God for everything I’ve lost.

Lips closed as I tell my story, my words are not spoken verbally.
But when it comes to what I write, I don’t hide or keep my topics light.
I have this idea in my mind, see I am transparent online…
The people in my life have a one stop website crash course guideline,
To learn all about, “J from Caroline.”
And sometimes I find that feeling alive is so much easier after my fingers have ran out of words to type.
Like I can’t see at night until I pay the bill for the lights.
Like I can’t function right, nothing else will suffice.
Not a want but a need, a constant hunger, my appetite.
Like the paper is my church and every line I confess is my holy tithe.
Is it clearer now?
When I speak on my past I am not proud,
But I take my bottled up sins and pour them out.
In hopes to save another soul from losing control, not feeling whole, or turning cold.
I’ve made the mistake of laying the cards down and saying, “I fold.”
I’ve been disconnected and arrested.
But I have progressed, and this is how I express it.
I confess, my shoelaces must have come untied.
I tripped over my self esteem and landed on my pride.
But that doesnt mean I am weak, just keep in mind.
Everybody deals with pain in their own way, on their own time.
There’s a difference between you and I. Just like,
There’s a difference between the connect, the plug and the dime.
Oh, hi. Nice to meet you,
I am the power line.
The puzzle pieces don’t fit unless I allow them to align.
The world will keep spinning the day that I die, but I guarantee you the sun won’t shine as bright.
You don’t know me, you never will.
If you think you know me you’re gonna have to swallow a bitter pill.
If you think you are one of the ones who have the inside scoop, you think you’ve had the first hand point of view, you think you know who I am and what I’ve been through…
May as well step in line too, cause ain’t a soul on this planet that can tell me about me, or speak my name with facts that are all true.

I’m not saying I am special, by all means.
I got a big dream, but I know I’m one of several that do.
And I may not be successful, but I promise I’m gonna see it through.
Don’t care if the whole world thinks I have no skills.
I just want to influence the one soul that needs to hear,
So just like mine, their savage intentions can turn to good will.

Party of one at my table when I hear them say that I won.
Alone at the bottom and alone coming up.
That doesn’t say lonely now, don’t get my words twisted up.
Have no care that I’m not one of a pair.
Like a two dollar bill, I’m rare.
Keep your guard up and beware,
I thrive on independence.
Single mother, I’m not codependent.
A wannabe Angelina Jolie.
Reach my all time high, my ecstasy.
I’ll strive on my own, silently.
Rather or not you wish the best for me, is irrelevant, it’s obsolete.
I know my grandma keeps her head bowed when she’s praying for me.

Don’t get me wrong I love having some Benjamins, but he’s not my best friend.
Every dime I make is a blessin’
And I’ll admit sometimes I stress it, but in the end?
Money doesn’t matter that much to me, I only depend on it to pay rent and take care of my kid.
And that’s where the relationship ends, I focus more on this life we live.
Money creates a temporary joy but a life of bliss is developed within.
I focus more on teaching my kid,
The fruits of the spirit,
And the words that are written in red.
I want to raise him well,
So he’ll make sure “Thanks,” and “I love you,” are always said.
And when he talks to the Lord undead,
He bows his head.